


Downfall

by Fieonexx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AND IIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUU, DINGDONGLE, F/M, Fanfiction, Fieonexx, I Love You, I Plan for this to be mature at some point lol, LevixOC - Freeform, SWING SWONG, attack on titan - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 05:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16079489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fieonexx/pseuds/Fieonexx
Summary: (LeviXoc) While free from the threat of titans compared to others, Fieonexx has faced abuse from many within Orvud district, a district to the north of wall Sina. Accusations of treason had resulted in the death of her parents, and the situation of living in the underground that brought her to the Survey Corps. Forever wrestling with the torment she was left with, her goal is revenge against the King and Military Police. But will her actions be her downfall, or theirs? Can someone help her before she destroys herself?





	Downfall

 

        Have you ever felt it?

        That familiar feeling of fear?

        The feeling of guilt, and the gnawing malicious thoughts of what could have and should have been; the feeling of your heart sinking into your stomach, the lump rising in your throat as it tries to suffocate you. A fate one thinks they deserve at moments like these.

        Why did you? Why **didn** **’t**  you? Why them and not you? Another failure.

        Was she really so incompetent? So useless?

        A sigh heaved from deep within, pale scarred hands grasping the gauze and sterilizing solution. Droplets fell from the saturated rag, the bottle of the solution returning to the metal tray with a soft clang.

        “Pathetic.” The word was soft, mumbled in an inaudible whisper to those in the vicinity around her.

        There it was, that feeling of fear.

         _The fear of losing someone._

        A groan emitted from the body below her, a burning sensation eating at their skin as the sterilizing agent came into contact with open wounds still fresh from two days ago. They were the result of an expedition; another without much result. Thankfully, this time had not been a complete failure, and while many had been injured, there were far less fatal casualties.

        "I know, I know..." Another mumbled whisper had unlatched itself from deep within, her body tensing in guilt further as she watched the person beneath her wreathe in their unconscious state. 

        Their grunts of pain became more fervent, causing her hair to stand on end and her face tingle in embarrassment. This was her fault. She was responsible for them, and she had failed one of them, a young blonde girl with a potential future ahead of her. The injuries sustained from the titan's attack has left the girl in a coma, but with the responsiveness to the medication it may not be severe, or so she has hoped.

        "I'm sorry, Ame." Shaky hands brushed strands of honey blonde hair from the cadet's face, the blankets fully encasing her slumbering figure once more as she had finished bandaging their wounds.

        A sigh had pulled itself outward, her hand resting on her comrade's for a moment as her gaze peered at the door for what felt like minutes. Begrudgingly, her legs had pushed her forward, the door opening to reveal the usual trio waiting for access to go check on her which they had been granted in silence. Words had eluded her, the lump in her throat growing by the second as she watched two of them run over, brunette locks bouncing from his footsteps while ebony locks belonging to his adopted sister glided behind her with grace.

        "This isn't your fault." Whispered words pulled her attention to the third member of the group, his blond hair framing his face as strands tapered inches above his shoulders. He was smart, potentially smart enough to surpass Erwin one of these days should he live long enough to see that day. Reading people had been as simple as reading a book for him.

        She simply nodded, not offering him words as she had busied herself with wound care on the next soldier. It was unnecessary for her to tend to those in the infirmary, as the Survey Corps had its own team of medics, but this was an escape from the never-ending internal nagging at her uselessness. At least this way, she may help save someone for once.

        "Can you tell me your name?" She inquired, her tired blue orbs flickering over the paperwork in front of her. "Good, and do you know where we are?" Another question fell from her mouth effortlessly, the routine is the same as it always has been. Another approving nod, another question, "And do you know what the date is?"

        She placed the clipboard of paperwork back on the tray, her gaze peering into his as she leaned over him, "Good. You seem to be aware. Now, tell me if this feels different or the same." Her digits stroked his cheeks, moving on to his arms, legs, and eventually his feet. The results were charted, his answers being the same as usual. A sigh left her lips, a fake smile plastering itself on her face as she assured him he was doing fine. He was healthy, that she had not lied about, but his legs may have suffered nerve damage and may affect him permanently. It was still too early to tell, and she dared not burden him with such news until she knew for certain.

        "How is she?" She peered at her colleague, the glass of water keeping her silent as she drank its contents, the lump in her throat making it harder. "You don't have to beat yourself up so much, Fieonexx." Her colleague had placed a hand on her shoulder delicately, their gaze soft as they had already been answered from the pained look in the ash blonde's eyes.

         Fieonexx took a seat, her elbows digging into her legs as she leaned forward and watched the group speak to Ame, telling stories as though she were conscious and participating in them, "She was my responsibility. I should have communicated with my team better, and this may not have happened."

        Her colleague sighed, Fieonexx knowing that her guilt was a toll on others also. Another thing that was her fault, and could have been avoided by pretending that everything was fine. "Things happen for a reason, and she's still alive, so don't beat yourself up too hard."

        

 

        "You missed breakfast and lunch again. Though I have to admit you aren't missing out on much." A small laugh fell from the brunette's mouth,  a single finger scratching his cheek. He felt a little sheepish, talking to someone who didn't respond to him as if nothing had ever happened to them. A small blush crept onto his face as he stared at her in silence for a moment. She looked so peaceful and pretty while sleeping, but he didn't want to look at her that way forever. He missed those cerulean orbs that lit up whenever she playfully beat him up, her energy filling the room as she carelessly went about her ways. The two would never admit it, but they had a liking for one another. Some weren't sure if they two could even tell.

        The short-haired blond chimed in, his body leaning into the edge of the bed, "Oh! Today we did some more training on the titan dummies. I'm getting better! Though I still have a long way to go to catch up to you guys." He glanced away and frowned lightly, his gaze turning back to her as he spoke again, "Wake up soon, ok? It's not quite the same without you around. And Fieonexx is worried about you, too. She's taking it really hard since she's our squad leader."

        The group sat in silence, the only sounds coming from the dormant female being the sounds of her breathing, the rhythm sometimes unsteady from pain.

        "Eren..." His turquoise eyes flittered to the raven-haired female of the group, "We should probably get going." She finished, her voice solemn as it always was. 

        He agreed, the trio walking out of the room before they all let the silence creep in, filling them with guilt and putting horrid scenarios in their head.

 

 

        Hours had passed, Fieonexx being the only one in the infirmary while the others had gone to take a break and rest themselves. She had taken a seat beside Ame again, her head resting on the mattress while her arms draped across her legs. Her eyes fell half lidded, irises dulling as she spaced out. It wasn't until now that the silence had comforted her rather than claw at her, and had lulled her into slumber as exhaustion consumed her.

      _"Keep quiet and stay alert. Titans could be hiding_ _anywh_ _-" A sickening roar quieted Fieonexx's words of warning, a titan had burst from behind a building, stomping towards the squad of three with malicious intent. "Armin! Ame! Run ahead to the patch of trees! I'll try to distract it."_

_"Affirmative!" The young duo yelled in unison, their horses giving out a cry as their pace increased into a gallop._

_Fieonexx pulled the flare gun from its resting place, popping a red flare into the barrel and firing it off. A path in the sky bled red, signaling to the rest of the regiment that a titan had been spotted. Shortly after a green flare had followed, the smoke arching to the left to indicate that the regiment is to ride more left to avoid the titan._

_The titan had smashed through buildings, Fieonexx using them to her leverage as a means to slow it down momentarily as it recklessly plowed through them instead of avoiding them. She glanced behind her, the shaking of the ground growing fainter as more space had been gained between their predator. A piercing scream had ripped her attention forward, the two younglings changing course in a hapless manner, nearly running into one another from the sharp turn they implemented._

_"Shit." Fieonexx snarled, pulling the flare gun back into her hand, popping another flare into the barrel and firing it into the sky leaving a black cloud to float aimlessly through the air._

_An abnormal had mixed itself into the mess._

_"Use the buildings to your advantage!" Her ears rang, the blood pounding in them had muffled her surroundings, her instincts relying on sight and feel for the situation she was in. Fieonexx had sharply turned, the titan following her falling over in a failed attempt to mimic her. It whined loudly, slowly getting to its feet to continue its pursuit, its target changing._

_The abnormal stopped, staring into the sky before stomping on the ground as if it were throwing a temper tantrum. Fieonexx narrowed her eyes, her digits grasping the maneuvering gear tightly. Now was her chance. Wires sang as they sprang from their hold, latching into a building to the side of the abnormal which had allowed her to zip passed its nape, the blades easily cutting through the flesh and dropping the titan to the ground in a steaming mess._

_She sighed, thankful that it made things easy, as abnormals were usually fatal, especially to small groups. Her hands gripped the reins, yanking them to whip the horse around to head towards the rest of her group._

_"Ame! Look out!" Her breathing hitched in her throat, the titan that she had assumed was lost from its fall earlier, had slammed its foot next to Ame. The impact had thrown her off of her horse and sent her flying into a house, debris from the already crumbling building had worsened her predicament as it crushed her._

_"O-over here, y-you stupid monster!" The shoulder length blond taunted the titan, stopping it from reaching towards Ame's unconscious body._

_"Armin! Get Ame out of there and take her to the medical wagon. Inform any that you pass by that the abnormal is gone. Be sure to use flares if you spot any titans on the way there." She gripped the blade handles once more, shooting the anchors into the lower half of the building, the momentum and sharp edge of the blade ripping through its ankles to render it incapable of walking. It bought them time, if only for a moment as it stared at them with hunger._

_The two of them hastily rummaged through the rubble, tossing it to the side. Their breaths grew ragged, their arms shaking from the strain of lifting heavy building pieces from their unconscious comrade. Fieonexx had glanced back, the_ _titan_ _was still unable to walk, but it was getting close as it thrashed in attempts to stand. The more attempts it made the longer it was successful in standing before crashing back down._

_"We've got her!" Armin piqued, slinging Ame's arm around him while Fieonexx grabbed the other, the two of them dragging her to Armin's horse._

_"Get out of here. I'll drag the titan away. It should be fairly simple to outrun it as long as another doesn't show up, I'll_ _meet_ _you back at the formation." The reins of Ame's horse were tied to a spot on the harness of Armin's horse in an attempt to keep it with them. "If you need to, cut the reins and run."_

_Armin nodded, the horses quickly working up to a gallop and heading towards the group. Fieonexx had hopped back on her horse, the titan now capable of limping to its prey. She had shouted at it, drawing its attention which earned her a gleeful roar from it._

_"Don't get excited just yet." She mumbled, disgusted at these creatures. They looked human, despite lacking reproductive organs, but they harmed people while ignoring other forms of life around them. Their purpose for hunting humans was unknown, as they ate them yet lacked a digestive tract. Despite Hange's attempts to study them, they were still a massive mystery to humanity._

_Her limbs whipped the reins, the horse galloping away from the group, the titan quickly falling behind. Once certain she was no longer being pursued, she made her way back towards the direction of the group._

 

        "Fieonexx. Fieonexx, wake up." The motion of being shaken had awoken her, her head turning to Ame to make sure she was alright. A light sigh of relief escaped her, the fear she felt had gone as quickly as it had come.

     "Ah.." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, reality painting itself from blurry to sharp in a matter of seconds with the blink of her eyelids. 

          Daylight still filtered through the open windows, though it would not be long before it slipped away to only return hours later. Silence had clung to the air, not that it was unfamiliar, as their motto was that a healing environment is a silent environment. Medics had endlessly busied themselves, only stopping for short breaks to rest their aching bodies and numbed minds to refresh themselves. 

        A hand grasping her own had pulled her blank attention from her surroundings to the figure that had disturbed her. It was always the same hand, calloused and muscular, yet so calming all the same. Silver orbs enhanced by surrounding ebony locks had peered into her azure pools, a look she knew was of disapproval at her neglect for her own well being, and for the mental scolding she had given herself. A gentle pull on her hand brought her to her feet, his hand not letting go of her as he led her from the infirmary. This was also normal for her; he would sometimes request help with his paperwork, though she was sure it was more so to act as a distraction from her thoughts, as he was a smart man and was capable of the position he had earned as captain. His strength was something that had reached the ears of everyone, like that of a legend. His strength alone was easily that of a five man squad; he was definitely a valuable asset to the Survey Corps. Amongst his fame for his strength, he was also known and feared for his attitude. He was mostly a man of few words, and the words he picked were rather degrading to those who didn't know how to handle him.

        "What are we doing here?" Fieonexx had eyed him cautiously, his hand now free to knock against the door to beckon entrance to the office before them. Erwin's office, the commander of the regiment. She had tensed again, trying to shrink away as much as possible without it being obvious. Was she in trouble? What was Erwin going to say to her? What did he even need her for? Was she dropped as squad leader? She attempted to mentally soothe herself, agreeing inwardly that it was probably for the best if she were let go.

        "State your name and business." Erwin's voice was astringent, the worry in Fieonexx trying to ignite from the embers of doubt.

        "Levi. You know why I'm here." He motioned for Fieonexx to enter upon their approval, following quickly behind her and locking the door.

        Reluctantly she took a seat, legs pressed together and hands folded in her lap. An index finger scratched at her hand in an attempt to busy herself as a means to deal with the stress, her toes rubbing together harshly in her boots. 

        Erwin had leaned forward, strong fingers guided by a hand pushing forward papers in an envelope. His face had remained stern, and no words came from his mouth as he was unsure of what to make of the matter. Levi had said nothing, the silence granting her permission to flick the envelope open and grab its contents. Slowly her gaze drifted down the paper, the words pouring into her mind as she absorbed them.

        "These are the missing cadets?" Erwin grunted, the room still silent as she continued. "Deceased?" She had mumbled to herself, her brows furrowing in confusion as to why these documents were relevant to her as they were not cadets that had business with her. Three corpses had been found, each left with a note atop their brutalized forms and two letters etched into their skin.

        ~You harbor one among you~ -RY

        ~She is a traitor- a liar~ -SH

        ~Until you hand her over, the consequences will be dire~ -ER

        Fieonexx had glanced to the side, brows furrowing in confusion as to what this all had meant. The lettering found carved into the bodies had come to spell out 'RYSHER', a surname belonging to only one remaining person to her knowledge.  _Hers._  Silently she read the reports over and over, the notes found upon the bodies not making any sense to her along with the rest of it. Traitor? Liar? What did that have to do with murdering innocent Survey Corps members? Every member that had been misfortunate to meet this fate had been from her headquarters. It was an attempt to lure her out, to get them to hand her over; yet, all these people left were breadcrumbs. They had just started, and the only knowledge on them is that they were after Fieonexx. The only lead as to why were the words 'traitor' and 'liar'.

        She slid the papers back to Erwin, arms crossing across her chest. "I'm not sure what this all implies."

        "We are uncertain as well. All we know right now is that someone is after you, and they used our Survey Corps members to make sure this reached our ears." His desk slammed with a loud thud, the papers now taking their resting place in a drawer. "It's clearly not official business. Someone is working in the shadows."

        Levi had stepped foward, leaving his post against the wall to frame her body in by resting his arms on both sides of the chair, "Someone has a vendetta against you. Can you think of why?"

        Fieonexx fell back into her seat, her head turning to avoid Levi's intense gaze. "No, I don't think so." The room stayed quiet, allowing Fieonexx to search her mind to think of any possibility why someone would want her, and why they would go to such drastic measures to get what they wanted, yet stayed hidden. She shook her head again, unable to find a possible answer. The one that should be wanting revenge against someone would be her, and unbeknownst to them, she did.

        Erwin sighed, the chair underneath him quietly groaning as his weight had left it, "If you think of anything, let us know." His stout hand rest upon her shoulder, a small gaze into her eyes telling her he was worried.

        She simply nodded, watching Erwin leave his office along with Levi, the lack of their presence making the office seem barren. A sigh had left her lips, her worn muscles pushing her from the chair she sat in and towards another office she was sure to be occupied. At this point in their friendship, they were comfortable enough to not have to knock on one another's door for entry, though Fieonexx still did so unless she heavily needed comfort. 

        Granted access, she had made her way to the vacant chair in his office, watching him do his work in silence. She had her own that beckoned her to finish, but with the results of the last expedition, she was in no state to deal with them right now. How Levi had managed to do his after his squad had died to the female titan's attack, she will never know. She knew the death of a particular pumpkin haired woman would have been the hardest of them all.

        It was no different for her. The two were close enough to be hardly inseparable, and the nights to follow had left Fieonexx wishing there was something she could have done.

        "Stop thinking about it." Levi broke the silence, his voice gentle yet demanding. He knew not which incident she was absorbed in, but he knew watching her put herself through torment had hurt him also. 

        She merely nodded, the movement of his writing utensil as it scratched words onto paper throwing her into a trance. Not long after had sleep taken her, pulling her into a wakeless slumber, only to torment her further in her dreams.

\------

So I have another story by this name and plot, but I'm redoing it because holy shit am I bored with it. Also, I feel like it's lollygagging around and I'm trying to start this one off to the point. I've tried sticking to the way the manga/anime played out too much rather than just take my idea and run with it. XD

 


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